Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
