I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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