I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
