So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have feelings that need drinking.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
