I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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