I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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