Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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