four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize