By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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