She is in my trunk
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
