Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
