1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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