I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
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Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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