Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
