But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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