is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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