just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
