Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
