just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
