i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
