He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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