Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
