she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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