Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so explain again why im purple
no
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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