u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
