you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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