YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
