True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
