Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
