super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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