...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
