then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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