So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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