We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
