Umm I'm too high to move.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
