She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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