the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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