it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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