Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
