my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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