yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
