Say something about gay babies.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
