if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
