Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Duck Duck Cougar?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
