Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
