I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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