she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
