I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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