I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
