can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
