I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
