Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize