i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
