Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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