First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
