doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
