honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
