We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
