I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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