i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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