she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
