Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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