I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
