she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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