My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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