i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
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I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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